Codeword: Manchild
Shhh!!!
This post must will self destruct in five minutes, or immediately if at any time you imagine a purple elephant breakdancing.
This is a top-secret, priority message. It is meant only for you. Yes, you! Yes, really, it is meant for you. Of course I know who you are. How else could I have meant it to go to you? Umm… you’re confusing me now. Just… just read the message, ok? Jeez.
Ahem.Don’t tell anyone, but I’m throwing my husband, the Cyberlizard, a surprise party for his 35th birthday! At the LEGO store! I know, right?! How dorky-cool is that? He loves LEGOs! (Well, maybe love is not a strong enough word. “Obsessed” works.) He’s always wanted a surprise party, and what better way to celebrate turning 35 than to have a child’s birthday party at your favorite toy store? And who would suspect a surprise party on their 35th birthday anyway? Party stores don’t sell pre-printed napkins for the half-decades, people – it’s either 30 or 40. 35 falls between the cracks. Non-obviousness WIN!And, I’m throwing in all of the awesome surprise-party-planning-extras, like “we have to go to our son’s friend’s birthday party” and “I’m sorry we can’t do anything fun for your birthday because we’re broke”. Just think of the shocked look on his face when he realizes how many lies I’ve told him over the last 48 hours!So, be there to witness the Gotcha! moment. Or relive it later with full-color photographs. Either way you’ll make one manchild’s birthday very special indeed.
I’m back, and I’m being informed that our self-destruct software parameters have failed. Apparently the system was overloaded with thoughts of purple breakdancing elephants. So I guess I’m going to have to rely on you to self-destruct this post… yourself. Seems kind of pointless, doesn’t it? Ok, well, just don’t tell anyone about it, since it is a secret.
Umm, well, now I’m getting word that, actually, the aforementioned secret is no longer, in actuality, a… well, secret. Since it already happened and all.
But, I have been given clearance to tell you that “All secret operations were completely successfully, and the integrity of the secret was not compromised.” Translation: Cyberlizard was completely shocked and thrilled with his surprise party, and no kids spilled the beans.
I thank you all for your support of this mission. Keep on the lookout for details about our next mission, Operation NowYouKnowDasherAndDancerAndPrancerAndVixen.