Why, Hello Roller Coaster
We meet again, emotions.
In the past, you have tempted me with your cheerful hand-painted sign, your smiling logo. Your sickeningly sweet, cotton-candy-flavored promises lured me in. I did not notice the steep incline, the plunging drop. I chose not to look at the corkscrew track with its violent, banking turns.
I did not realize how telling it was that I had to pull myself up to a minimum height. I did not give a second thought to the tight harness, the cutting belts.
I climbed in willingly, believing the marketing campaign when its posters assured me of “fun” and “laughter”. I buckled the strap and gave an extra pull before giving a big thumbs-up to the attendant.
Then, it all went wrong. Every turn was a slap. Every sudden stop a knife. The click-click of the chain pulling me up the hill was the mocking caw of impending pain; the steep descent a savage fall into despair and fear.
And it was all a surprise. I didn’t see it coming. I had my eyes pinched closed and every moment was a fresh shock, a new violation.
I was battered. Beaten. Crushed. My vulnerable spirit was broken, unable to withstand that unexpected force.
That is how it has been.
But this time, things are different.
Now, I recognize you. I see you and label you honestly. I read the fine print. I choose to face you. I embrace you.
This time, I will be the victor. You will not take me by surprise with your force, your confusing twists and turns. I have my eyes open, ready to brace the whipping wind and the stings that come with it. I will feel all of it, the good and bad, the excitement and fear, the fun and the fury.
This time, I will not be pulled, unwilling.
This time, I will ride.